QotD

It's a little late, but what the hell...

"[Pringles] are like the Hitler Youth of crisps!"
--Sandy Toksvig
Newsquiz, 22.05.09

Proof that there are people more wrong than me

Overheard:
'So he went up to the guy and said something along the lines of “I don’t care how much, how hard, or how crazy you’ve fucked my mother. I’ve been deeper inside her than you’ll ever be.”'

Apparently, the guy is not a fan of his mother's new partner.

How long did it take you to go from "ew" to "well, that's true" to "bwahahah!"?

Out of the mouths of the Interwebs..

From a conversation dealing with the medical/healthcare situation in the US

“Ha ha ha! You have a sinus infection? Only the wealthy nobles can afford to see the mythical healer.”

Words I never thought I'd say...

"I promise not to duct tape your child."

It was originally appended by "to the wall" but it was determined that securing an oath in a blanket manner was best.

I'm a little disappointed, but I've only promised not to affix duct tape to one child. There are tons more in the world, and people keep breeding.

Thanks, Lucy!

Wanna add "don't marrry an asshole" to this list?

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
--Lucille Ball

Favorite QotD

A good girl goes home and goes to bed. A nice girl goes to bed and then goes home.