Friday, February 26, 2010

Toned, Symmetrical People Gettin' It On

I'm all full of sex news tonight.

Did you hear about the condom shortage at the Vancouver Winter Olympics?

Yep. Loads of hot, athletic, young people getting it on.

I'll let you sit with that for a moment.

Now, onto the bits of the story that I find interesting...

Health officials in Vancouver have already provided 100,000 free condoms to the roughly 7,000 athletes and officials at the Games. That's about 14 condoms per person. But as of Wednesday, those supplies started running dangerously low.

Let's think about that for a moment... Assuming that hot people want to have sex with other hot people and not us mere mortals (and admit it, as much as you might fantasize about it, do you really think you could keep up with a world-class athlete in the best condition of their lives? That's okay, I already hear your response... "No, but I would try! Please let me just try!") this means that there are 28 condoms per couple. The games started on 12 Feb and the article was written on 24 Feb. Figure that your event takes place over two days, on average, and that you opt not to have sex on the preceding nights. That's 2.8 instances of sexual activity requiring condom use per day.

Hot, sweaty, athletic adrenaline sex.

Go find your partner, I'll be here when you get back.

I've heard a few people saying different things. My favorite so far has been the call to not send more condoms to the Olympic Village. The reasoning has a delicious form of logic.

"Think of the 2030 games! Breeding the uber athlete! It could be done!"

I have to admit, it sounds just whacky enough to work.

My pet theory is that with all the anti-weed hoo-hah (anyone that's done pot will tell you that it's not a performance-enhancing drug) that they've had to find something else to do with their time off.

Urban Fox Mating Rituals

...apparently take place under my living room window.

I was happily watching some event of the Winter Olympics a few nights ago when I heard what sounded like a cat fight out my window. Okay, no biggie, even though it was past midnight, until it started sounding like a child being flayed. Then I grabbed the phone, ready to call 999 and possibly go outside and beat someone with a lead pipe. (Just call me Miss Scarlet.)

I look out the window and I see a shadow scurry off in one direction and notice a fox looking up at me. Yeah, we live near Greenwich Park and Blackheath, both extensive green spaces, but I'm not sure I expected so much attitude from a fox.

As I looked down at the fox, he looked up at me and might as well have said "what, Bitch, I was gettin' my groove on and you have to be all human and ruin it."

I actually felt bad for interrupting the fox fucking, and then realized that I was getting a tough guy attitude from a fox.

I guess I'm glad that there will continue to be kits around, but as the fox sauntered off, I came to the sudden realization that we have chav foxes engaged in car-less dogging. Go Greenwich!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

25 - 28 Feb 2010

Planned dinner menus:

Thai-style scallops with rice and vegetables
Venison lasagne with salad and garlic bread
Erwtesoep with fresh baked bread and salad
Baked Creamy Chicken Taquitos with refried beans and Spanish rice.

That is, of course, the plan.

The Thai-style scallops with rice are going to be simple; I have a sambal sauce that's pre-prepared, so I'll caramalize the scallops and then toss them with some of the sauce, serve it over rice with broccolini and green beans.

Venison lasagne is just a lasagne with venison mince cooked into the red sauce.

Erwtesoep is a split pea and sausage stew that B fell in love with when he was working in Amsterdam for three years. I have a recipe that's supposed to be wonderful, and we'll give it a shot. It makes about 17 million gallons. Somewhere around there, it serves 8 people or some such. I figure I'll be able to portion the remainder out and tuck it in the freezer for emergency eating. It's a good winter food, and given that it's barely cleared 40°F here in London in the last month, it seems to be a well timed meal. The only issue is that I can't find split green peas here, so it will be yellow. I admit to debating on getting green food coloring in order to get it more to the color B (and I) expect... But I think the yellow split peas will be slightly sweeter than green would be.

The chicken taquitos I came across when I sent a plaintive Gchat message to Ritsuka, saying "HELP! I have three mains, I need a fourth for when B comes home!" I explained what I had planned, and she said, "This sounds like a time to use foodgawker."

"Uh, bwuh, what is foo...oooooooh."
"POOD FORN! You gave me pood forn!" (Yes, I was so excited I transposed letters. Leave me be.)

I've started digging 'round in there and I've decided that one meal a week will be from foodgawker.

To explain, I only have to plan out four meals a week because B works out of town and I generally eat leftovers or quick food during the week.

I can't wait for Spring to hit so I can go mental at Borough Market. I already have plans and I can't wait to see my fishmonger again. And I'm sure that B would love to get some new and exciting cheese.